She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You are the jesus of drinking
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
