He told me they were just razor bumps!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
