you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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