i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
