Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
