sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
