Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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