sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Randomize
