quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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