Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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