There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
