What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
