I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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