so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
