We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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