i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
