my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
