I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
