i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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