so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
