even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
