Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
