he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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