no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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