White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
