on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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