She said her name was "party"
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
