Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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