when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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