Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
