no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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