I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
