Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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