Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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