Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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