you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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