I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
