so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
