It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Randomize
