my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
