Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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