blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
