im having a threesome with these popsicles
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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