I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
