there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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