I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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