Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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