Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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