Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
