absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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