At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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